Parkway Elementary School

Dear Parents,

I hope this letter finds you and your family well. This month, I want to share some thoughts on a small but meaningful change we can make together to help our children build positive habits around the words they choose. Lately, we’ve noticed that even young children, often without meaning anything serious, are using phrases like “I’m so dumb” or “I hate myself” when they’re frustrated. While they might say these things casually, it’s important to help them develop a kinder way to express themselves.

Why Words Matter

At this age, children are learning how to talk about their feelings, and the words they use shape how they think and feel. Even words said “just joking” can add up and affect their self-esteem over time. It’s much like watering a plant—when we use encouraging words, we’re giving it what it needs to grow strong and healthy. But when negative words are used, even if they’re small, they can make it harder for children to feel confident and strong.

Ways We Can Help Them Find Kinder Words

Here are a few simple ways we can work together to help our children use words that build them up rather than bring them down:

1. Show Them How to Speak Kindly About Themselves
   Children learn a lot from listening to us, so they’re watching and listening to how we talk about ourselves, too. When we make a mistake, instead of saying, “I’m so bad at this,” we might say, “I’ll keep trying until I get it.” Modeling this type of positive language can greatly impact how they talk about themselves.
2. Help Them Reframe Frustration in the Moment
   When your child says, “I’m terrible at this,” try saying, “It sounds like you’re feeling frustrated. Let’s try saying, ‘This is hard, but I can keep trying.’” Reframing the situation helps them build resilience and recognize that mistakes are a natural part of learning.
3. Encourage Specific Feelings Words
   At this age, children are still learning to recognize and name their feelings. Instead of saying something like, “I hate myself,” help them use more specific words to describe their frustration or sadness. Try offering phrases like, “I’m feeling really frustrated right now” or “I don’t like how that went.”
4. Create a Safe Space for Talking About Feelings
   When children know they can share their true feelings with you, they’re more likely to talk openly rather than using strong, negative language. Ask questions, listen, and offer comfort so that they feel supported in talking through their emotions.

A Positive Habit for Growing Minds

When children learn early on to use words that reflect patience and kindness toward themselves, it becomes a lifelong skill. Words can make a big difference, especially at this age, when children are building their sense of self. Together, we can guide them toward language that helps them feel strong and capable, even when things are tough.

Thank you for being our partners in creating a supportive environment where every child can thrive. As always, please feel free to reach out if you’d like to talk more about this or if you have any thoughts to share.

Suzanne Barbi